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| Random quote: [Cult leader Jim] Jones himself was a high-level Ciakar (winged reptilian) from the Orion home of these creatures. He was courted by both state and federal government leaders for his abilities, and actually served in a number of different positions for various civic leaders. He was described by some who knew him as having totally black eyes behind the dark sunglasses he wore both indoors and out. --Peter Farley. http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/sumer_anunnaki/reptiles/reptiles46.htm - (Added by: Utu) |
 Temple of the Vampire- Ancient secret or wingnut religion?Jump to page : 1 Now viewing page 1 [25 messages per page] | View previous thread :: View next thread |
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Zenaphobe |
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Member | I came across the Temple of the Vampire when I joined a Church of Satan message board (Letters to the Devil). The satanists on this message board were an interesting mix of misanthropes who eschewed the "herd" mentality of society and prided themselves on being beyond the snares of the carnival barkers of organized religion. I noticed in my reading on the message boards that a lot of the card carrying members of the COS were also members of the TOV. This piqued my interest and I decided to take a look into it. Here is their official web page for anyone interested Temple of the Vampire The brilliant thing about the TOV is that it is exactly what I would expect from someone trying to fleece the gullible and socially awkward who come to them. The "high priest" is a fellow who goes by the moniker "Nemo" on the satanic message boards and he is a member of the COS. Consider that members of the COS are atheists and consider themselves the "alien elite" in society, they reject altruism and see everyone as a means to their ends. (I'm not judging their views here, but am stating them for context relating to the TOV) The sales pitch on their homepage is this, "If Vampires were real, would you want to be one? POWER - WEALTH - HEALTH - PLEASURE It is not just a fantasy." Doesn't that sound enticing? Those dreams you have of living forever, destroying your enemies, screwing the good looking babes, and obtaining riches unimaginable is not a dream after all! Anne Rice was penning historical fiction and she didn't even know it. Next we have the mission statement, and we all know how important those are, "The Temple of the Vampire is an international organization that can enable you to acquire authentic power over others, build real wealth, achieve vibrant health, and even live beyond the usual human lifespan." Hell, this is like the undead branch of Anthony Robins infomercial empire. I bet you will be able to remove Kool Aid stains from white cotton, absorb 10 times your weight in liquid, and never need ironing. Wait, there's more! This is part of what it means to become a real Vampire. As opposed to the fake ones you see in those documentaries like Nosferatu and Twilight. Real Vampires are those who possess a special knowledge and power. You can have this knowledge and gain this power. And the creator of this religion does not even need to come to your house and personally infect you with something as crude as a bite to the neck. Oh no. Realize the hidden truths behind why people think and act as they do and learn exactly how to control them. Just don't think too hard about the pull of propaganda designed to lure people with low self esteem and a penchant for the occult to forfeit all sense of reality. Rise above the mindless rat race of having to work to make money and employ our subtle secrets to make money work for you. While we make your money work for us *cue diabolical laughter here* I guess they have a fortune cookie option where they send you a box of winning lottery numbers (for a fee) and you just need to figure out the proper day to use the numbers for best results. I suspect the head honcho is the one who will be able to rise above the "mindless rat race" when he gets enough rubes sending in their checks to learn how to be undead without all the headaches of murder investigations, blood bank heists, and Van Helsings kicking down the door to drive a stake through your ticker.  See through the common nonsense that harms your health and begin now to effectively live longer, better, happier, and wiser. I suppose that being a vampire, you are recommending a steady diet of Human blood, as this is what seems to work in the movies. I doubt we can safely follow that assumption to it's logical end as it presents a whole logistical problem for our fledgling creatures of the night. Discover the smug satisfaction that can be yours when you experience confident control over your world and learn its hidden secrets. When someone says "Smug satisfaction guaranteed", you know you are on to a winning strategy. Will this confident control permit me to make a killing on the stock market, sense food contaminated by semolina (or blood with HIV), and give me powers to sense when drunk drivers are going to cross into my lane going 80 mph? Sign me up! The Temple shows you exactly how to do this and can provide you with all that you need to begin immediately. You can discover that all of this is true because of one simple thing... The Temple Motto: Test Everything - Believe Nothing. Damn, this is like undead science, no faith involved, actually we discourage belief. Want proof you are immortal? Go get your kid sister to shoot you in the guts with dads .45. Heck, use a hollow point. Why do I suspect that the empirical rigor I just suggested would not find advocates at the top of the TOV hierarchy? Dead members can't pay their dues now can they? Here is the meat of TOV philosophy This is how you can discover that what we claim is true. We will never ask you to simply believe anything we tell you. You only need to apply yourself to what we suggest and you can prove to yourself that what we tell you is true. The Temple is not based on faith, but on facts. You can test these facts for yourself. We want you to. Translated to non cult speak- If you do what we suggest and fail to validate what we are claiming and then bitch to us that it doesn't work, we will imply that either you did not do it correctly, or you are a skeptic and your reluctance to be open minded is blocking the spiritual pathways that empower our methods. When I was checking them out, I bought their little "Vampire Bible" and was given access to a message board to ask questions and I took their word for it that they wanted me to "test" the facts for myself. I told them I had an IP address written on a notebook laying on my desk and that if they could summon the undead spirits they claim exist to give them the number I would buy a lifetime membership and devote myself fully to the temple. They took me up on it and......well, no, actually they basically they were not running a "dog and pony show" and that my challenge did not obligate them to perform tricks for me. (though they implied they did have people running experiments in astral communication). Hmmmm, it seems I have heard rebuffs like this somewhere before when talking to people about why god insists on hiding his power and does not perform tricks at our demand. I suppose the undead guides of the TOV belong to the same union as Yahweh and all those other entities that can't use their powers to prove themselves. Back to the sales pitch, I am skipping through sections now And as you prove to yourself the truth of the Temple teachings, you gain increased access to others who have a deeper and more profound understanding of the higher powers of the Vampire. I knew it. Frickin undead Amway pyramid scheme! As our vampire newbies want to get the "real" secrets of the temple they are going to have to spend years in devoted adherence paying their dues while every now and then someone throws them a new bone (neck?) to chew on. The great thing about secret societies is there is an ever lengthy process to work your way to the "inner secrets". Only the worthy, ie. those with $$$ are sure to make (seeming) progress. It's like a stick that goes over the horizon with a carrot on the end that no one has ever seen but everyone "knows" is there. The Temple has only one goal: To find and awaken Vampires to their nature and their heritage. We exist to find people like you. Individuals who know they are different, who know that they deserve more from life, but have simply not found what they have been looking for. It's like undead philanthropy, well, except there is a charge, but they are doing it all for you. Talk about an appeal to vanity. It's not your fault the mean old world had kept you from your undead birthright, they have no idea how special you are but we do and think you deserve more out of life. *gag* Remember those reservations one might have about obtaining human blood without bringing the law down on your head? Well, here is some clarification just so you know what real vampirism is like THE SECRET METHODS OF VAMPIRISM You will learn how and when real Vampirism works. There is no crude physical biting or physical blood drinking. What you will do is invisible to the eye but something that you can verify as quite real. THE PREDATOR OF HUMANS The Vampire does not kill the living human prey but we do consume the excess energy of life, the human Lifeforce. This does no harm to the living as you will soon be able to prove. Nevertheless, the Vampire accepts his dominant nature as a majestic predator, like the lion or wolf. It is invisible to the naked eye. Well that's just splendid if I wanted to be a fucking Ring Wraith or something, but I signed up to be a VAMPIRE! No biting? No blood drinking? WTF! This is like the Watchtower Society of vampire literature. Sure Jesus came back in 1914, but you could only see it with "spiritual eyes". Give me a break. The whole reason why lions and wolves are seen as predators is because they kill things! They don't sap invisible energy from a gazelle and cause us to fear them, they tear it to shreds. I can just hear the internal dialog of one of these "vampires" at a social event where they are picked on. After a wedgie "That's right Tommy Hogart, you go ahead and make fun of me, cause I am sapping your life energy and you don't even know it. You better fear me! I am a predator and I will sit outside your home tonight and drain your whole family while they sleep. You have no idea who you are messing with. RAWR!" Talk about a religion of lowered expectations. Of course, this does circumvent all those hassles of getting people to send you real cash while avoiding prosecution for forming a religion centered around obtaining actual human blood to drink. I wonder if maybe the TOV are the Protestants of the whole vampire religion thing and that there is a real church where the members practice that "Old Tyme Religion"? Damn posers. I need to see if my user name and password still works on their forum and maybe I can shed some light on the mentality of those who are signing on to become non blood drinking energy leeches who can live forever with loads of wealth. Hope you enjoyed it. | ||
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| Zenaphobe |
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 Regular  | Nice post, Zenaphobe. You write with the style of an investigative reporter. That's some good wingnuttery you found. That sales pitch was total infomercial/get-rich-quick-scheme/Scientology/Jay-sus-needs-your-money. Also, what is it about vampires and douchebaggery that goes together like peanut butter & jelly? Does that come from the Satanist background? That they show familiarity with psychic vampires, a LaVeyan construct, implies to me that might be the case. Some methods I learned from your post on these wingnuts: 1. Use infomercial sales pitches. Listen to these great, empty promises. Now give me your money. 2. Every internet religion needs a FAQ. 3. We've been looking for you! You're special. Classic cult tactic. 4. Bait and switch. I also was reminded of the fictitious diseases so-called alternative medicine enthusiasts invent and whose practitioners, wouldn't you know it, have the treatment for. It also reminded me of Christianity with its made-up affliction of original sin that all you need to fix is 50cc of Jay-sus. The process goes as such: 1. Invent an ailment, or seize upon a pre-existing one. 2. Claim you have the treatment. 3. Offer it in installments, for a price. 4. Profit. The vampire instantiation of this: 1. You suck (but not in the good way like we vampires do). 2. I have the answer that can make you suck better. 3. Insert your money into my pockets, and I'll tell you how. 4. Thank you. The Temple shows you exactly how to do this and can provide you with all that you need to begin immediately. You can discover that all of this is true because of one simple thing... The Temple Motto: Test Everything - Believe Nothing. Damn, this is like undead science, no faith involved, actually we discourage belief. Want proof you are immortal? Go get your kid sister to shoot you in the guts with dads .45. Heck, use a hollow point. Why do I suspect that the empirical rigor I just suggested would not find advocates at the top of the TOV hierarchy? Dead members can't pay their dues now can they? Here is the meat of TOV philosophy This is how you can discover that what we claim is true. We will never ask you to simply believe anything we tell you. You only need to apply yourself to what we suggest and you can prove to yourself that what we tell you is true. The Temple is not based on faith, but on facts. You can test these facts for yourself. We want you to. Translated to non cult speak- If you do what we suggest and fail to validate what we are claiming and then bitch to us that it doesn't work, we will imply that either you did not do it correctly, or you are a skeptic and your reluctance to be open minded is blocking the spiritual pathways that empower our methods. Exactly. Do what we tell you and if what we you tell doesn't work, it's because you didn't do what we told you to do right. Obviously. There's a Monty Python sketch in there somewhere. When I was checking them out, I bought their little "Vampire Bible" and was given access to a message board to ask questions and I took their word for it that they wanted me to "test" the facts for myself. I told them I had an IP address written on a notebook laying on my desk and that if they could summon the undead spirits they claim exist to give them the number I would buy a lifetime membership and devote myself fully to the temple. They took me up on it and......well, no, actually they basically they were not running a "dog and pony show" and that my challenge did not obligate them to perform tricks for me. (though they implied they did have people running experiments in astral communication). Hmmmm, it seems I have heard rebuffs like this somewhere before when talking to people about why god insists on hiding his power and does not perform tricks at our demand. I suppose the undead guides of the TOV belong to the same union as Yahweh and all those other entities that can't use their powers to prove themselves. That reminds of the psychics who explain away why they've never used their powers to win the lottery by claiming they only use their abilities for noble pursuits (*cough* Such as bilking people who want to establish contact with their deceased loved ones out of money; truly, the echelon of humanistic care *cough*). If I actually had psychic powers, I'd be a multi-billionaire from cleaning Las Vegas casinos out to their owners' angry befuddlement, from winning every horse race I bet on ever, from winning every lottery I ever entered, and from making wise stock market investments all the time. And my winnings I would use to feed, clothe, house, care for, and educate the poor. So if psychics really had powers and were really interested in noble pursuits they'd be gaming the system all the time so they could give their winnings to those who really needed it. Since that does not happen and we do not see such psychic Robin Hoods, we can conclude they either are not psychic or they are not noble. I don't know how this fits in with your post. I got carried away as I often do.  Back to the sales pitch, I am skipping through sections now And as you prove to yourself the truth of the Temple teachings, you gain increased access to others who have a deeper and more profound understanding of the higher powers of the Vampire. I knew it. Frickin undead Amway pyramid scheme! As our vampire newbies want to get the "real" secrets of the temple they are going to have to spend years in devoted adherence paying their dues while every now and then someone throws them a new bone (neck?) to chew on. The great thing about secret societies is there is an ever lengthy process to work your way to the "inner secrets". Only the worthy, ie. those with $$$ are sure to make (seeming) progress. It's like a stick that goes over the horizon with a carrot on the end that no one has ever seen but everyone "knows" is there. LOL. And for the low, low price of $29.99, we'll reveal to the ancient secrets of the Middle Ages, while for a low, low price of $49.99, we'll reveal of the mysteries of Ancient Greece, while for our special offer of ten easy payments of $99.95 we'll reveal to you ancient Sumerian secrets! The TOV expects us to believe that? YOU guys are supposedly the suckers, not us. Does the TOV have multiple levels like Scientology? ... Remember those reservations one might have about obtaining human blood without bringing the law down on your head? Well, here is some clarification just so you know what real vampirism is like THE SECRET METHODS OF VAMPIRISM You will learn how and when real Vampirism works. There is no crude physical biting or physical blood drinking. What you will do is invisible to the eye but something that you can verify as quite real. THE PREDATOR OF HUMANS The Vampire does not kill the living human prey but we do consume the excess energy of life, the human Lifeforce. This does no harm to the living as you will soon be able to prove. Nevertheless, the Vampire accepts his dominant nature as a majestic predator, like the lion or wolf. It is invisible to the naked eye. Well that's just splendid if I wanted to be a fucking Ring Wraith or something, but I signed up to be a VAMPIRE! No biting? No blood drinking? WTF! This is like the Watchtower Society of vampire literature. Sure Jesus came back in 1914, but you could only see it with "spiritual eyes". Give me a break. The whole reason why lions and wolves are seen as predators is because they kill things! They don't sap invisible energy from a gazelle and cause us to fear them, they tear it to shreds. Totally weak on the TOV's part. Redefining all the aspects of the vampire is a total, deal-breaking cop out. Watch with smug satisfaction as you destroy your enemies (spiritually of course). Gaze upon piles of incalculable wealth as you fling money at your problems as though it were pocket lint (metaphorically speaking). Revel in your perfect health as no disease can disable you (if you know what I mean). Land the most choice pieces of tail you could ever lay your eyes on with the least effort. You'll have to turn away supermodels from the shear animal magnetism you would exude (spiritually of course). Turning things invisible and spiritual has the analogous effect of saying "Just kidding!" does to any claim. I can just hear the internal dialog of one of these "vampires" at a social event where they are picked on. After a wedgie "That's right Tommy Hogart, you go ahead and make fun of me, cause I am sapping your life energy and you don't even know it. You better fear me! I am a predator and I will sit outside your home tonight and drain your whole family while they sleep. You have no idea who you are messing with. RAWR!" LOL. "Yes, Tommy keep pressing your luck. You'll feel my wrath. One day I shall descend upon you and those you are with shall be helpless (spiritually of course). I shall consume your friends and family right before your eyes (spiritually of course). I can forsee when I shall tear open your neck and feast on your blood. Your cries for mercy will be in vain (spiritually of course. In reality, they'll likely be quite loud and will alert the police to my presence and almost certainly ensure my arrest)." Talk about a religion of lowered expectations. Of course, this does circumvent all those hassles of getting people to send you real cash while avoiding prosecution for forming a religion centered around obtaining actual human blood to drink. If they think it's all right to offer an invisible substitute for vampirism, then they should also accept an invisible substitute for currency and invisible displays of your progress into vampirism. Inconsistent bastiches. I wonder if maybe the TOV are the Protestants of the whole vampire religion thing and that there is a real church where the members practice that "Old Tyme Religion"? Damn posers. Hehe, good point. All modern religions can be viewed as watered-down, safe versions of the real thing that is now illegal. "Animal sacrifice, and cannibalism are not meant to be taken literally/no longer apply." That, or adherents today are just wimps who aren't willing to do some jail time for their beliefs. Where are the Jews and Christians stoning people for working on the sabbath? Why don't they own slaves? The bible says they can. Where are the Muslims killing people for being infidels? (Okay, that's probably a bad example). Where are the vampires tearing into living people's necks and extracting blood? I need to see if my user name and password still works on their forum and maybe I can shed some light on the mentality of those who are signing on to become non blood drinking energy leeches who can live forever with loads of wealth. Hope you enjoyed it. We should call trolls, if we ever get any here, energy leeches. | ||
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| Zenaphobe |
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| Hey there Great stuff, let me spill a bit more. 1) The organization that "Nemo" belonged to was the Temple of Set. He didn't spout Vampire nonsense while he was there, although the ToV began as the Kthulhu Pylon in Washington state. Interesting, most of the current higher-ups of the Church of Satan were one-time Temple of Set members, including Peter Gilmore. Research and you will find more info and fascinating history. Michael Aquino's Church of Satan and Temple of Set history PDF's are invaluable. 2) Nemo is also known as Lucas Martel, and his real name is George Smith. He is totally into cryonics and all of that pseudo-medicine crap. 3) Although they declare up and down that they are not a cult, they do strongly urge members to purchase ToV business cards - i.e. buy my advertisements and pass them out - just like product logo shirts. Well, that should get the ball rolling anyway. Don't let the OoPs get you! Matt p.s. OoPs = The Order of Prometheus - an inner police circle of the ToV. They look for anyone spilling the truth about the Temple, and usually try to have message boards posts, etc. removed. Do a Google search for Vampire Bible and scroll to the bottom. Click the DMA alert. You'll see what I mean. The OoPs is the Temples police/clean up crew. | |||
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Regular | Zenaphobe - 2009-05-27 4:12 PM Thanks for the nuggets of info Matt. Oops? Lol! Sounds like the Church of Scientology, if you can't baffle 'em with bullshit, sue 'em. I guess when you got a good scam going you don't want the truth to come and scare away the rubes, er, I mean, potential non blood drinking law abiding undead worshipers. They need a theme song for Oops, Sung to Brittany Spears "Oops I did it again", "Oops they did it again, they scrubbed the results Got rid of your link Oh baby, baby. Oops they did it again they drained all your chi in-vis-i-bl-y now don't you feel week oh baby, baby." Sorry, I know that was lame, but anywhoo. That wasn't lame, that was fucking awesome. I lost it during the drained your chi/in-vis-bly/now don't you feel weak part.  Also, welcome to Matt. | ||
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Member | Lol, thanks for the compliments, every now and then I can channel Weird Al.  | ||
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| That OP was great! | |||
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Regular | All right! Zenaphobe is back! I was wondering where you might have gone. I see you were waiting for inspiration.  Inspiration struck me too after reading your post. I came up with a few titles you could use: Finding Nemo. Mazel T.O.V.! or in a similar vein: Quoting Nemo: Now 25% more transhuman-y. Your post cracked me up.  It's so simple a dues paying rube can understand it. A picture of a rotting and reanimated Anthony Robins springs to mind here saying, "Unleash the Undead God inside you!" Just to ease the doubts you geeks might be having of attaining immortality through draining peoples chi without their knowledge, we have contingency plans that involve becoming super rich to buy immortality. Nemo Frankly, any technology that becomes advanced enough will point to a direct effect by mind upon matter - what we call magic. I also should point out that it would actually be pretty amazing if no one else before this time had been able to do just that. The above quote by Nemo sounds like a garbled version of this: Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. Arthur C. Clarke and this: http://www.paganspath.com/magik/crowley.htm Perhaps because of this influence or his vision of this influence, Crowley advocated the practice of magik to assist in the light of self discovery of the inner spiritual self. He defined magik (which he spelt in the archaic form as magick) as 'the science and art of causing change in conformity with will.' with a hint of this?: http://www.hallofthegods.org/articles/evidence-of-advanced-ancient-technology.html With the destruction of the ancient libraries of Alexandria and China, the only remaining records of the very ancient past are to be found in India and Tibet. They speak of a golden age when men could fly in fantastic craft that could defy gravity. What happened to these fabulous civilisations? It appears that they we obliterated from the face of the earth in a series of environmental catastrophes. Such was the ferocity and scope of the destruction that virtually nothing remained. But as shown above, evidence has been coming to light. As this evidence slowly accumulates, it is becoming increasingly clear that man has had a far more glorious past than the one that has been painted by modern archaeology. Maybe not. | ||
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Member | I'm still around, I just try to find the choice bits of wingnuttery that are out there among the masses of WTF material. I like the title suggestions, I'll talk to my agent and see if I can get you a spot on my team. The quote on technology and magik (have to use proper spelling) sounded familiar, but the two sentences he wrote tasted like word salad to me. I can't fathom the point he was attempting to make, but that may have been his intention. It is like capitalizing They and Them, it serves to impress those with vivid imaginations but low demands for evidence. You have to give him credit, he is tapping a market of gullible people who demand more evidence for mundane things in life than what he is peddling. If I were to try and sell them fruit grown in a garden tended by "Them" and claim it had 200% more vitamins and anti-oxidants, you can bet your ass they would want some evidence. Tell them that history is manipulated by "Them" and I know how to tap their powers, and they fall over themselves to give you a credit card number. Sorry to be so brief, but I need to find a protective amulet to defend my chi from clandestine attempts to drain it. Sometimes it is hard to tell a vampire attack from low blood sugar.  | ||
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Member | Quick update for those still watching this thread. The Undead Gods must be feeling the pinch in this economy because they are putting adverts on Youtube. Here is a short, sweet plug for finding your way to vampireism. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HIpbSzjhFM& Notice that you have to get the approved manuscript to get authentic power. For a fee of course. The second is a real tear jerker. It's like Oprah meets Bella Lugosi. Your search is over and you have found us. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--E85H8BGmA It's a classic "Have you always known you were special, but feel like you are looking for something just out of reach?" There is the warning to only go forward if you are really serious. Slackers need not apply. The Temple used to operate in secret but in our desire for cash.....er converts, we have come out of the darkness to find our lost brethren. Naturally, the comments are disabled on the videos so disgruntled chi drinkers can't call them out on their BS. It's nice to see the Undead Gods get into the Youtube after all these centuries. I hope they got their digital T.V. converters so they can keep up with the latest True Blood series. | ||
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